


Declarational Magic is the Worst (But I'm Glad We Didn't Keep our Mouths Shut)

by syringe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Anal Sex, Babbling, Babies, Bottom Draco Malfoy, Brat Draco Malfoy, Cock Warming, Dirty Talk, Draco Malfoy is a Little Shit, Drarry, Edging, Exhibitionism, Fluff, Humor, Lucius Malfoy is a Good Parent, Lucius Malfoy is still pining over James Potter but it isn't really relevant, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Kink, Shameless Smut, Smut, Sweet Harry Potter, Top Harry Potter, but it's seasoned with lovely bursts of draco complaining about how stupid harry is, mentions of mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:54:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22336612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syringe/pseuds/syringe
Summary: "You are far too young to have a... thing-that-must-not-be-named blooming inside of your..."Father is growing pink in the face from the nightmarish strain of inarticulate speech, so he gives up and returns to examining the vial filled with a horrible mixture of pregnancy potion as well as Draco's urine.Alternatively, Potter has knocked Draco up with his spawn, but how? Surely it's not simply because he asked him to?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 23
Kudos: 736





	Declarational Magic is the Worst (But I'm Glad We Didn't Keep our Mouths Shut)

**Author's Note:**

> here is a fic spawned from just a, strange, strange idea that had been plaguing my mind for a while. i absolutely had to get it out of my system. 
> 
> pregnancy kinks are pretty common in omegaverse fics in other fandoms i write for, but i've seldom seen it in drarry! also!! there are NO cockwarming fics?? WHAT!
> 
> regardless, i did have a surprisingly fun time writing this thing, and i hope you like it! :) ♡
> 
> (also, i apologise for any and all typos and discrepancies. i'm shite at proofreading my own stuff. also, the auto translated french may be,, wonky. i wouldn't know :[] so sorry)

Draco is shocked and appalled. Simply mortified. He cannot possibly fathom how a thing such as this could have happened to him.

In retrospect, it has recently come to light that the _Magic of Love_ does, in fact, exist regardless of how strange and ridiculous it may have sounded as a theory. Who is to say the theoretical _Magic of Declaration _is void of legitimacy?__

__And 'declaration' is right; Draco blames himself and his big mouth landing him in this rather unbelievable situation. Well. Partially blames himself and his big mouth. Potter, too, had been involved, and that fact alone hands at least eighty percent of the blame over to the four eyed bastard._ _

__And curse the _Magic of Love_! For if it hadn't existed, then Potter would have been too dead to torment Draco, ultimately resulting in neither of them triggering the Declarational Magic that would eventually go on to bring forth _this_ scene. _ _

__The scene in question being, Draco with his head pressed against his Father's shoulder-- weeping whilst also glaring vehemently at the lavender vial in Malfoy Senior's scholarly grasp._ _

__Actually, no, he takes it back, he wouldn't dare wish for something as drastic as Potter being dead. Fresh tears well in his eyes at the thought of that lovely green gaze of his-- dead. Like the unwavering irises of a fish head lying atop a spicy Muri Ghonto. Where would that have left him? At the feet of the dreaded Mold Lord. And he would, contrary to popular belief, miss Potter's stupid face if he were gone, and with no Large Warm Hands to hold and caress and love him, he figures he'd miss him quite a fair bit. Amidst the privacy of his own mind at least, Draco can admit to loving Potter._ _

__The inevitable 'But Daddy I love him!' dispute had fortunately been forestalled by Lucius Malfoy's firm insistence of the 'fact' that the pre-... potion test is a load of rubbish as well as a scam, which brings us to the present scene. Featuring Father running soothing fingers through Draco's hair whilst studiously peering at the directions on the back of the pr-... kit from behind his petite reading glasses._ _

__"I suppose it could be more of a wisteria than a lavender," Father says in a tone that is simultaneously confident and lacking any signs of such a quality. The kit says, pink means negative, whereas lavender means..._ _

__"Oh, Father it's no use!" Draco whines petulantly, burrowing his damp face farther into Father's rather precious Versace bathrobe, "Harry Potter's got me up the d-"_ _

__"Do not utter such a thing!" Lucius cuts him off sternly, "we must simply be missing something. Thrasher!"_ _

__A sullen house elf appears. For some reason, it had never occurred to the blond that the poor creature simply detests the name that was given to him by a six-year-old Draco._ _

__"Bring me an encyclopaedia detailing every shade of purple to exist on this realm," Lucius commands briskly. The twenty-something vials of delicately lavender liquid (that Draco knows are full of his pee), however, negate his optimism on the matter._ _

__"Oh Father, I'm ruined, I shall be fat! Knowing Potter, it is possible we will be having quintupl-"_ _

__"Do not speak of such a thing Draco. There is no 'we' in this situation. I shall personally make sure you are not bearing that Potter's... whatever. As much as your mother and I would love to see little... you-know-whats of yours toddling about the manor, we are aware that you are far too young to have a... thing-that-must-not-be-named blooming inside of your..."_ _

__Father is growing pink in the face from the nightmarish strain of inarticulate speech, so he gives up and returns to examining another vial filled with the horrible concoction that is potion mixed with Draco's urine._ _

__He wants dearly to tell Father of his theory, that Declarational Magic really does exist. But although he is confident in his correctness, he is not at all eager to divulge the sources of his suspicions to his father. How ever will he be able to speak of the time he has come to dub as 'That Afternoon' with anyone? Let alone, with Father?_ _

__Again, it must all be Potter's fault for reducing Draco to a hapless babbling mess- for even with Draco's vice of being insanely talkative during sex, he would typically never utter such... _embarrassing_ things with his own two lips unless pushed to the very edge of his control. Which is exactly what Potter, the horrible prick had proposed by means of the concept of, what was it? Oh yes, that:_ _

__"Cock-warming?" Draco had asked incredulously over the top of a _Daily Prophet_ quiz he had been taking, "What on God's green earth does that mean? Would it be bold of me to assume our genitals are already warm enough underneath all these layers of clothing we respectable gentlemen need to wear?"_ _

__"You've got it all wrong, love," Potter had been wearing a rather devious grin when he reached out and yanked the paper out of Draco's hands, replacing it with his own body instead, "what's that other thing that can keep my _cock warm_?"_ _

__Draco had of course been at a severe disadvantage here, for who could resist that devilish look on Potter's face? "I'm listening." he had said faintly, running his fingers up, down, and up again over the lines of Potter's ribs._ _

__"Answer my question please, baby?" Potter's tone had been edging on abhorrently flirtatious, now that Draco remembers it. He will be having more than a few words to say to the man regarding this, next time they see each other._ _

__"I certainly do hope you're talking about my _tight_ ," Draco had emphasized this in a heady whisper, for he had been getting dreadfully horny at that point, damn Potter, " _arse_." _ _

__"I may be," Potter said huskily, licking his lips for no reason other than to torment Draco's fragile self-control even further._ _

__The blond spares himself the mundane details of how he'd been explained and demonstrated the foreign technique of this fabled _cock-warming_ and in no more than ten minutes, he'd been devoid of his bottoms and nestled around Potter's prick like a holster over a wand. _ _

__"This is much easier than you had made it out to be Potter," he remembers himself saying and honestly cannot bring himself to recall the exact moment when they had turned even this into yet another challenge. Potter's ridiculous girth stretching him open must have done horrid things to his state of mind._ _

__"Yes, well," Potter had flashed him a grin; they were sitting in a fashion remarkably similar to a child in his mother's lap (could this possibly be a formation that may have contributed to Draco's... current predicament? Damn Potter!), except Draco is loathe to think of any parent engaging in this particular sort of bonding activity with their offspring. "Let's just see how long you can last before you're begging for some movement."_ _

This had seemed like a rather empty threat, much like most of Potter's "threats" in regards to his _Darling Malfoy_ , as Weasley loves to call him. Now, however, Draco finds himself wishing he'd paid more heed to it. 

__The first forty-five minutes had passed rather delightfully. Draco had never in a million years anticipated himself perched on Potter's cock like a good little pet for over an hour apiece, but stranger things have surely happened in his life. Aside from the occasional twitch and throb from Potter and an exponentially increasing itch in Draco's sweet spot that longed to be tended to with a good ploughing, all was well and comfortable on Potter's couch that fated afternoon. The prat had been doing his paperwork on Draco's back, using him like a mere table like nothing were amiss. This, of course, had activated Draco's amazing stubborn streak, and he took it upon himself to continue the _Prophet_ quiz from earlier as well as a short story he had been working on. (Which, in retrospect might have been a bad idea, for the story was based heavily on this one time he and Potter had wandered off to go fuck like bunnies in a broomshed on Weasley's wedding day)._ _

__There had been something decidedly naughty about carrying on with mundane tasks whilst speared on his lover's cock, Draco grudgingly admits._ _

__Now, here is where all had gone downhill. Mittsy had popped in with her eyes closed (thank Merlin for elf magic) to inform Draco of an urgent floo call from France he needed to attend "now, now, now, Master Draco, Sir!" on Lucius' behalf. To this day, he has got no idea to where his Father dearest had vanished that day, but if this means he can tack some of the blame on the Malfoy patriarch, he'll take what he can get._ _

"Drat, well, I suppose we must cut this enthralling cock-warming session short, unfortunately," Draco told Potter, who had _laughed_ like it was the most hilarious joke ever told. 

__"What's so funny?" he'd asked, raising his eyebrow as well as a man possibly could with an unmoving dick up his arse._ _

__"Just thinking of how you lost, and I won," Potter replied with a charming grin. At Draco's incredulous glare he said, "oh, come on. It's a floo call, right? It's not like they'll see you from the neck down."_ _

And damn his stubbornness for, by some process of thought conceived by a deranged mind, Draco found himself kneeling before the grate, head in a room packed with official-looking folk. The rest of him? Stark naked at Potter's mercy; the man who was currently draped over him like a warm comforter with a strange twitching appendage that he was _definitely NOT going to be thinking about_. 

__If sitting on his lover's still prick in the privacy of their bedroom had been naughty, discussing legal matters with half a dozen old coots whilst getting stuffed by him was the pinnacle of lewdness. This was taking the proverbial attending a meeting in one's underpants to a whole 'nother level._ _

And Draco recalls that it hadn't even been so bad. He'd been leaking precome at a frightening rate, and had had to make several excuses for his flushed complexion, but it had been _alright_. Being madly turned on was, of course, always alright. More than, even. 

No, the whole affair had gone down the drain when Potter had decided he had enough grace to _lose_ first. 

__He did not signify his forfeiture by pulling out._ _

__"Avec tout le respect, messieurs, si possible, nous aimerions proposer un procès- OH!"_ _

__"Jeune monsieur Malfoy, quelque chose ne va pas?" an old man in a wine colored fedora had asked if something were the matter, a very subdued tone of concern breaking through to the surface of his speech. Draco hadn't been looking at him, though, because Harry's cock was pressing right into his prostate. A spot that had been throbbing for the past half hour in anticipation for this very moment._ _

__"A-Ah, pardonnez- moi un instant-" Draco had managed to gasp out, ducking out of the fire to shoot a poisonous glare at Potter. The man was rather pink in the cheeks, and had decided to betray his shirt to the carpeted floor. His palms were warm and clasped over Draco's buttocks, thumbs spreading his hole open to make way for the full girth of his dick._ _

__"WHAT are you DOING?" he'd managed to hiss at him through his teeth, sounding far too much like Severus for his liking._ _

__"You're so- sexy," Potter panted, dislodging a palm from his arse in favour of running it lovingly over his flank, "when you talk- French- wanna- wanna fuck- _now_!"_ _

__"Hold it _in_!" Draco had gritted out, more harshly than he had intended. Only because Potter's words had affected him more than he'd have liked to admit, and had got him leaking in fat globules again._ _

__Potter had nodded weakly, and buried his heated face in Draco's back._ _

__The rest of the meeting, of sorts, had gone well enough. As well as it could have gone with Potter thrusting shallowly into him every few moments, anyway. Draco's head had been floating consistently among the realms of, "fuck me? fuck me! ohhh good God, want it I want it I want-- more its not enough oh Potter please fuck me please please ruin my arsehole I'll do anything, anything-"_ _

__Finally, with a stuffy farewell and a rather violent rightward twitch from Potter, the dreadful floo-call had come to a close. He'd have to make sure Father repaid him in earnest for this one but right now?_ _

__"Fuck, Potter! This is a-all! Aaaaall your fault!" he had whined, pressing back onto the brunette with a mighty groan._ _

__"Jesus," Potter was out of breath, "want me to make it up to you, Draco? I'll fuck you nice and long and hard, sweet. You've been so good."_ _

__And this is the part where Draco is sure the... predicament had taken life. Quite literally. For Draco had been trying so very hard to be perfectly articulate thus far, that the highly anticipated words from his lover's lips had finally pushed him off the proverbial edge._ _

__“F-Fuck me, fuck me open, I’m, I’m so wet, fuck me silly.” Everything had been out of focus then, except for Potter's glistening skin, his big green eyes and the sheer girth of him stretching him out. “I’m so d-d- I, I wanna be filled w—wi—”_ _

__"I'll take care of you, sweet-" was the last remotely normal thing either of them had said, and Potter had snapped his hips, groaning in sheer relief, "O-o-hh Draco, oh, you're so-"_ _

__The details are fuzzy now, but it had easily been the greatest fuck of his life. Draco had been so dizzy, so desperate, he had literally been fucked stupid. The extreme edging brough forth by _both_ of Potter's stupid games had nearly been too much for the blond. Every drag of his lover's cock had been magnified to a thousand times its regular intensity. _ _

__Again, curse both of their running mouths; because the conversation (if you could even called it one) that had transpired must have been the culprit behind the conception of the bab- his preg- whatever._ _

__"Dr-Draco, Draco, oh, oh fuck!" Potter had been moaning._ _

__"Po-tter want more- more I need- fill, me up I'm your- I'm, a, _whore_ \- I'm yours, your, you- slut. I'm your slutty, slutty, slut oh pleasepleaseplease" seems like something Draco would have responded with, as his head had been banging against the headboard so hard it wouldn't have come as a shock if he had developed a brain hemorrhage in the process. One of Potter's inexplicably soft palms had come up to cradle his skull tenderly, shielding it against the blows, but that does not explain why Draco had been drooling and crying and dribbling juices all over himself. Definitely a hemorrhage. _ _

__And then there was the moment of truth:_ _

__"I'm gonna put a baby in you, yeah, you'd like that? I know you would," Potter had somehow said whilst ramming into Draco's prostate like a freight train, "Want me to cum inside of you?" Draco has no idea why this thought had occurred to the big oaf at a time like this, but in his deranged state, Draco had likely thought it would make for a perfect topic of discussion. (Again, if you could call it that)._ _

__"Yes! Yesyesyes! Wanna, want you to, fuck me, fill me with your babies-" Draco had thus responded. He blames the hemorrhage._ _

__"Yeah? I knew you'd say that, baby. Want me to get you all round and plump with- child I, oh you'd look so gorgeous like that, all round and pretty."_ _

__"Yes! Oh, oh, y-yes, I need it, please, Potter want you, want your babies. Want you-- cum all over me- in me, I, wanna-"_ _

__And the rest is irrelevant, for now, although Draco does have the memory stored away in a pensive somewhere for future reference. That is, if he ever recovers from his current dilemma._ _

__"Father, it's true!" he gasps, rising up from his place on Lucius' shoulder, "I'm pr-"_ _

__"Don't be silly, my son, we can figure this out, together!"_ _

__Draco pouts at him, trying his very best to project the idea of sweet little cherubs with his and Potter's superior combined genealogy running about the manor._ _

__"No, father," Draco sits up, lifting the- definitely lavender- vial out of his hands, "I've finished moping about it. I am having Potter's babies and there is nothing either of us is going to do about it!"_ _

__At this, Father looks as if he's a moment away from lapsing into cardiac arrest. Draco would have told him so if Father hadn't rudely interrupted his train of thought by sliding his bespectacled gaze to a point beyond Draco's shoulder and gasping. He rips his glasses off and exclaims, "YOU!"_ _

__Draco whips around to look at- surely it must be Potter- Potter. Ah yes, Malfoys are never wrong. He voices this aloud._ _

__Potter, however, does not react at all. His emerald gaze takes a bug eyed effect and he surely would have dropped that lovely bouquet of his now, if he hadn't done so already. The scene would have suited a telenovella just fine._ _

__"B-baby?" Potter finally manages to blubber, just when Draco was starting to wonder if he'd gone and died for real this time._ _

__"Yes, baby?" Draco returns coyly, twirling a bit of hair around his finger. That Potter and his saccharine pet names._ _

__"No- I mean, baby? Like the- crying sort? That is, the nappy sort?" Potter shakes his head as if to clear it, "What's all this about a baby, then?"_ _

__"We're having one," Draco drawls sweetly, wrapping his arms around his lover's shoulders._ _

__"Really?"_ _

__Draco rolls his eyes, cocking his head at the room as a whole. Even the likes of Potter must have enough brains to understand what all twenty-something vials of lavender pregnancy potions ought to mean. If not, there was always the sight of Father in his highly distressed state to help the notion along._ _

__"Mordred and Morgana! We're having a baby!" Potter declares gleefully, lifting Draco up into his arms (only a little, mind, the two of them are of roughly the same build)._ _

__"Or two," Draco divulges, "You're the Chosen One with three lives and ridiculously strong magic. Who's to say you haven't got super sperm, as well?"_ _

__"So, twins? We're having twins?" Potter's eyes are filled with awe, and it makes Draco feel wonderful. He's rather glad he decided not to be in a snit about the pregnancy any longer. He'd do anything if Potter would continue to look at him as if he'd taken a ladder to space and hung the moon._ _

__"I think we are," he confirms lightly and finds himself nearly squished between his lover's arms, "Father's instinct."_ _

__"I don't know how it happened, but I- wanted to say, that is... I love you, yeah?"_ _

__His face grows warm, and he leans up to kiss Potter on the lips. There's a brief moment of suction before he emerges, beaming, "I love you, too. And it happened because of Verbal Magic of course."_ _

__Potter's look of confusion is all he needs to launch into a brief explanation of his theory._ _

__"And so, when you had told me you wanted to cum all over me and fuck me full of your spawn," Draco says innocently while Potter casts furtive glances in Father's direction, "it really happened!"_ _

__"Now Draco, love, let's not get ahead of ourselves," Father speaks up, finally, crossing his legs self importantly whilst still holding one of Draco's many glorified piss jars, "I hope we are all aware that this whole dilemma is entirely Potter's fault."_ _

__"Well, of course it is," Potter wiggles his eyebrows suggestively much to Draco's amusement, but stops immediately when Father starts to look like he's about to implode again._ _

__"And besides," Draco says seriously, "if Father dearest hadn't decided to disappear off to who-knows-where on the day of that inane French conference, none of this would have happened!" he then dislodges himself from Potter's grasp and stands before Father._ _

__"So thank you, Father," Draco purrs, enveloping a rather shaken Father in an embrace. The elder Malfoy wisely decides to remain silent, for a hug from dear Draco is always a good thing. Or perhaps because he is thinking of shifting the blame to an unrelated third party, as he so loves to do._ _

__Potter tries his best to slither his way into the hug, but is unfortunately staved off by Father and his famous glare._ _

__"You're right, it was all that Jacques' fault," Father says after a while, "the gall of him, getting my son pregnant."_ _

__Draco has no idea who Jacques is, but if Father had met him for more than an hour apiece on a weekend, he'd rather not know._ _

__"We'll name them James," Potter sighs, "and Lily. Or perhaps Lilian if there's two boys. Or Jaimie for two girls."_ _

__"Don't be silly, Potter, we are naming my _boys_ Scorpius and Cygnus," Draco glares mildly at him, "I've planned it all out already."_ _

__"They shall be called Lucas and Luca, after their grandfather of course. And perhaps we could allow a James."_ _

__(The trio had squabbled over this for the rest of the afternoon, in vain it turns out, for Draco's Fatherly instinct had turned out to be shite. He miscalculated, and ended up with quintuplets after all. All boys. Lilian was a name outruled, and the next time Father had seen him, he'd hexed a rather confused Jacques senseless for the satisfaction of exacting revenge on a responsible third party. All was well.)_ _

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading :) if you liked it, please leave me a comment and let me know what you think! much love! ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ my twt is @dracominnie if you'd like to be friends!₊*̥(* ⁰̷̴͈^⁰̷̴͈)‧˚₊
> 
> others by me:
> 
> [Foreshadowing (I Really Should Have Seen That Coming) (2.8K)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20764577)
> 
> [Father's Eyes (4K)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21019106)
> 
> [I've Encountered Something I cannot Deny (16K)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23663806)


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